It is not, however an acceptable excuse to not see someone again. Because if you are going on an initial date: Here is my favorite of the bullshit excuses for not getting together with someone again. If someone approaches me, I ask what they are looking for and take it from there. It happens.
For example, a grown ass man recently took me out on a date and told me via text and in person multiple times that he was looking for that someone special. Upon being called out, he proceeded to block me on all forms of social media. My biggest pet peeve in life especially in our current political climate is having someone say something to me and then pretend it never happened.
There are boundless ways for us to communicate, which should make it very simple for these misunderstandings to never happen in the first place. The only person this really hurts in the long run is the person who does the ghosting.
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I understand that we are attached to our devices at all times nowadays and correspondence can oftentimes seem meaningless. However, there are actual real-life people on the other end of those screens and those people have these pesky little things called: When you continuously disappear to get out of telling someone you are not interested or out of any problem in life for that matter, you are not actually dealing with anything at all. It may be easy to vanish from thin air, but trust me, the ghosts of your past have ways of coming back to haunt you no matter how hard you try to run from them.
The only applicable excuse for not seeing someone on a second date or breaking things off with them is this:. See how easy that is? No one is perfect. No one will ever be perfect. And for some reason, many gay men think something perfect is right around the corner, thus continuing this endless cycle of first dates without a second date. Yes, it stings. Rejection stings one way of the other. Dating is hard. But when it happens time and time again, we build a resolve that makes us jaded, biter and nasty toward the very group of people we are trying to date.
Why make plans with someone for a second date when you have no intention of seeing them again? We are all adults so it interests me why we act like schoolyard bullies when it comes to dating instead of simply saying what we feel. Has this ever happened to you? Do you agree or disagree with this assessment?
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Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. Star Observer If this is what we all want, why are we making it so hard for ourselves? Here are some of the reasons I have received for not being asked on a second date: I think we are looking for different things. I or you have a lot of baggage. We must have misunderstood each other. And I am a really "young" I like Coldplay, can still make it up the trails at Griffith Park, have been known to savor a musical or two at the Pantages, and have a very open mind and heart.
So the people I am conversing with are younger. When I say younger, I did not plan for a person in his mids to become part of my new landscape for the four months he did — and no, I did not pay for it. I have to give credit to this person, he was the first one in 21 years who got me to open my heart, as bruised and battered as it was. It felt wonderful and painful and I was able to experience the Hollywood Bowl through a new set of eyes.
We had a lot in common, but in the end, the age expanse made a difference. We spent many a night talking until 2, 3 in the morning, but I get up at 5 a. I remembered at that age, those were common hours to keep. I also found I had to explain pretty much everything; as intelligent as my friend was, he simply did not have the experience.
So we're on hiatus, most likely permanently. I made a date with an esoteric 40s guy with a man bun whom I had chatted with for several months. He was great and an interesting guy, but lit up a bowlful on our first date at my Sherman Oaks home. I am not a judgmental person, but I decided this was probably not a good fit. I have had absolutely no problem having people express their interest in me, but I have to admit terms such as "papi," "daddy" and "sir" are not conducive of the lens from which I choose to perceive myself.
Dating in your 50s is very freeing; I have absolutely no neuroses about whether the people I meet like me or not, or whether I said the right thing, or if the clothes I wore on a date were the right choice. At this point in life, it is what it is.
Why Do Gay Men Make Dating So Hard For Themselves?
And I say, "love me, love my bald head. What I am finding is that my lifetime of experience, and all the joys, love, entanglements and, yes, pain, have made me a person of worth, value and strength. And I am finding that that is far more attractive to people than a set of six-pack abs. The author, who is a marketing professional, spends his time between Los Angeles and Palm Springs and is now dating someone he describes as "age appropriate.
Affairs chronicles the current dating scene in and around Los Angeles. If you have comments, or a true story to tell, email us at LAAffairs latimes. Click here for a Spanish version of this story. I got caught on AshleyMadison. I finally asked her: Are we dating, or just hanging out?
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