Written by and about exactly the type of gay man?
I am half way through this book and don't think I will be able to finish it. It seems like a shallow circuit queen's way of excusing her own failure in the relationship arena. Berenzai's book makes for the 11th thing I should know about being gay and single. Michael's Shopping. Almost finished with this book and its been pretty good reading. Makes you think especially if you are a single gay man. Especially if you are a more mature gay man who has been dating for a long while.
The Epidemic of Gay Loneliness - The Huffington Post
Good book! Only into it a little, but so far it's pretty good I haven't really read anything that I didn't already know I forced myself to read this book twice..
My second reading was conducted to really go at it with a determination to be both objective and fair. I liked some of the realities and some of the socio-evolutionary findings.
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Yet, unfortunately, the second reading made me far more depressed than the first! Is being a gay single defined solely as a life of clubbing, doing drugs, being obsessed with the body perfect both yours and the body of the one you're interested in , having to work long hours to have money for a "plastic surgery fund", having sex at bath houses or with prostitutes oh sorry..
I tend to call things as they are or F-buddies call it what it is! The advice he gives could have been given succinctly with clear bullet points and other resources; thereby cutting the book's size in half--and thus saving some of us the vapid tedium of wading through what amounts to a cross between "Bitter Sex and the City" and "Confessions of a Circuit Club Queen".
After the second reading of his book I was half-tempted to fix myself a Drain-o cocktail and end it all. While there are parts of the book that were pretty interesting and actually hopeful especially the sections and snippets where it's important to have friends who are in some ways truly family , the book as a whole was a total downer. I had expected much more in the way of positive, real-world realities, and a little less of his cruising confessional. Yeah, I'm really disappointed with this work.
I can relate with many of the authors feelings.
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I came out very young 16 in and I thought the gay world was just going to welcome me with open arms, I could finally be myself, yeah right naive little boy. I got smacked in the head fast, other gay men were ten times more hateful and mean than any straights I had ever come up against. As I got older I also realized that boyfriends were for the hot, good looking gym guys, not average Joe's like me.
For five years I was single, depressed, convinced I would never find someone. I became a sex addict, constantly at the baths looking for some kind of male acceptance. Then I met my first partner, I was sure we would be together forever, but two years later, he found someone better looking with money and dumped me. Seven more years would go by before I met my second partner. That relationship lasted six years until I finally got a clue that being with someone was not worth giving up who I was as a person. My second partner was an emotionally abusive, control freak, but so convinced was I that nobody else would want me I stayed four years to long.
It has now been 8 years since then, I have dated but no more partners. I'm no longer a sex addict, I don't go to bars or bath houses, I don't "hook up" on line. If I'm suppose to meet someone, they will come along within the natural pattern of my life, I'm not looking. It took almost my entire adult life to become happy with me and now I never think about "a boyfriend" anymore. I like being single, free to do what I want when I want. I have great friends and family. I travel, I'm out all the time with my friends and I have a great job and condo.
You have to find you first, then just let the bf thing happen when it will. Being a gay man is not easy and unfortunately our own community is the worst.
- Single Gay Man? Here's 21 Reasons Why! - Men's Variety;
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I recommend the book if only to give one persepctive on ones own life. See all 18 reviews. Amazon Giveaway allows you to run promotional giveaways in order to create buzz, reward your audience, and attract new followers and customers. Learn more about Amazon Giveaway.
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